AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
what's wrong with me. i just want to lie down for a long time. and dream. and pretend it's real. im so sick of being a thing. i want to be a life!
i hate when things die. like that little pearl in certain relationships. and i know that i killed them.
many people look at me with such bitterness and contempt. i am the one, they now. it was my fault. and they can never have that girl i used to be again. the girl i've always pretended to be. and i am over. like a bad bedtime story.
i want to stop using myself. i want to be aware of where i am and who i am. and stop faking this pain. i want to live.
mood: ARG!
music: "this bitter pillr" -dbc
