"i'm starting to fashion an idea in my head/where i would impress you with every single word i said/would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming/and you'd want to call me/and i would be there every time you need me/
i'd be there every time/but for now i'll look so longingly waiting/ for you to want me" -dashboard confessional
friday night: drowsy phone calls.
saturday: another drowsy phone call. nothing. and then some bands that half-sucked. but, mike...i crave your body heat but breathe in my nervousness instead. and remain the fool who coulda woulda shoulda. and youre reading this. and that half-scares me. it's a half-and-half day. i listen to the getupkids in my room in the dark and eat a chocolate bar and think too much.
i wrote a poem last night. it sucks, but i'll share it anyways.
i'm sinking deeper into this chair.
into this disposition.
awaiting a star-gazing lover
awaiting a prophesy fulfilled
for what? the disappointment inevitable?
sinking down farther into this girl who seems to care
or does she?
which front is it now?
which face will i present to you this time?
and who would look when it's the one that you just can't seem
to contort or understand?
i will i hope
i will i think
oh shit, i've sunk again
into the hopeful hope that something will come of this.
calm down and breathe, stop chasing your tail in circles
stop chasing the ghost as it runs away
it is running away.
so choose to hold the hand that will squeeze back
he will squeeze back..
so whats the trouble, little fool?
stop picking poppies that will wilt and let them grow for once
start smelling rooted roses. and not the ones you pick to die.
this doesn't have to hurt at all.
this can just we twinkling like christmas lights
just give yourself the chance to smile
just give yourself the time to realize
that what youve already lost is gone
but time keeps going
and its going
go.
fin.
mood = regret and warmness blended
music = "red letter day" -tguk
