sunday day: dad picks me up. we're driving with the windows open and a hard breeze pushing in. my hair flies. we stop at an antique junky store and dig through old rusty things: sailor coats, beach glass, salt & pepper shakers, records, musty leather-bound photo albums, thick glass cups and plates, rosey tea-pots. i bought two 45's. the kinks and queen. and a "van dyck" cigar box.
drive to the lexington resevoir. i throw rocks and balance on a long pipe down to the water singing poe songs. forgot my camera. drats. eat indian food. rice with fun orange saffrony things in it. and then my tummy started to hurt. bastards. much talking yet no sleep.
night: emails and promises.
monday: delerious. sleepy and coffee. i jitter. and someone died in a car this morning. and a girl i know would have liked to. but, she took 65 pills and waited for her heart to stop. is it good for her that it didn't? i'm glad it didn't for selfish reasons. driving home from school today, the sky was all clouds. i wanted to hold it or hug it. stick a straw in it and drink it down like a thick vanilla milk-shake.
a heaviness hung over today. blue monday. i wish to feel a-wake.
-a
mood = heavy
music = "lola" -the kinks
