& here i am. after all of that shit yesterday. a walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises. indeed. when the sky fades from fire red orange to murk & deep blueness, everything mysteriously falls. i want the sun to always shine & always encase me - if only on the inside.
i hate the blue of the sky that i mimic like a navy mime. inviting monsters to my tea party.
i'm gonna be a dolphin..i just want to swim away & forget i ever happened like this. everything i place in this little white box looks so dark & gross & weird. but, i can see magic sometimes. & i can feel glittery.. but i keep hoping maybe it's something out there that can just open up this lock. i just want friends & a place in the sun & some poetry and good books & some mad good fruit juice.
If you let them make you, they'll make you paper mache/At a distance you're strong, until the wind comes/Then you crumble and blow away/If you let them fuck you, there will be no fore-play/Rest assured, they'll screw you complete/Til your ass is blue and gray/You should make amends with you
If only for better health, better health/But if you really want to live
Why not try, and make yourself
i want to make myself.
-ah.lex
